Does this sound familiar?
Me: Time to relax and get into bed
The Internet: Want to read something upsetting first?
Me: Yes, obviously!
This recent FB post by a friend stimulated this article. Remember soap operas? Maybe they are still being aired. I was addicted to Days of Our Lives. One of the characters was killed and brought back to life at least 4x. This was when I decided, ENOUGH! Then along came reality shows, a new more realistic/dramatic addiction until most people realized much of what was coined reality was in fact staged for viewing pleasure and dramatic influence. Now we are living the ultimate reality show. Are you addicted and can you free yourself?
In 2017, I went to court for the seventh year of legal matters involving divorce resolution. I asked myself “Why is this taking so long and what is it that I’m not seeing clearly?” This triggered a dream the night before court where I was shown and told I was addicted to the illusion/drama/pain. This is coined the “habit of the habit of the pain of the pain”. How could this possibly be? I was so upset by the dream. I even tried to deny it. Why would I want pain? This entire legal process had given me PTSD and numerous other things I had to heal. I could honestly say I hated it and there was nothing more I would rather be free from and yet I was stuck in a 7-year cycle.
As a result, I began noticing my energy every time an affidavit would appear or an attorney would call. My body would shake and mimic the energy of anxiety. I began to take note of the adrenaline that was being released during this experience and how my body reacted. Though my conscious mind and emotional field detested the experience, my body was addicted to the adrenaline rush. I felt a bit betrayed by my body. Needless to say, this was my last year of court appearances.
The body registers the adrenaline charge of joy and drama in exactly the same way. It does not know the difference. It only knows the feelings they generate. So, freeing yourself from drama will take conscious effort and tenacity, but it is well worth it. Most importantly, to heal the addiction to drama try replacing it with something that brings you joy. One of my personal favorites is to watch the gold buzzer moments of America’s Got Talent or a comedy show. Where we put our focus is crucial right now because it will assist us in creating our collective future.
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